Sports

Billionaire Owner Asks Public to Fund Stadium He Will Name After a Cryptocurrency

The naming rights guarantee at least three renames before opening day.

By Chad Brogan, Sports

Sports Betting App Congratulates Man on Losing Responsibly

By JerkCircle Staff

Team Unveils $30 Beer, Calls It Part of the Gameday Experience

By JerkCircle Staff

Owner Threatens to Move Team Unless City Builds Him a Reason to Stay

By JerkCircle Staff

Athlete Thanks God, Agent, and the Tax Structure of His New State

By JerkCircle Staff

League Adds Fourth Jersey, Charges for the Privilege of Buying It Four Times

By JerkCircle Staff

Fan Renews Season Tickets, Renews Vow to Complain About Renewing Them

By JerkCircle Staff

Stadium Wi-Fi Designed to Push You Toward the Betting App, Succeeds

By JerkCircle Staff

Coach Takes Full Responsibility, Then Lists Everyone Else Responsible

By JerkCircle Staff

Halftime Show Sponsored by the Snack You Cannot Afford at the Concession Stand

By JerkCircle Staff

Commissioner Promises to Protect the Integrity of the Sport He Sold to a Casino

By JerkCircle Staff

Player Demands Trade, City Demands Player Return the Mural First

By JerkCircle Staff

New Stadium Replaces 30,000 Cheap Seats With 4 Suites and a Lounge

By JerkCircle Staff

Marathon Runner's Time Beaten by Guy Who Took the Bus to the Finish for the Story

By JerkCircle Staff

Team Wins Championship, Immediately Trades Everyone Who Won It

By JerkCircle Staff

Fantasy League Friendship Ends Over Imaginary Points in a Made-Up Game

By JerkCircle Staff

Team Threatens to Leave Unless City Builds $1 Billion Stadium, City Has No Schools but Says Yes

The owner, personally worth several cities, could not be reached at any of his homes.

By Chad Brogan, Sports

Fan Pays $200 for Tickets, $60 to Park, $18 for a Beer, and Watches His Team Forget the Sport

By JerkCircle Staff

Athlete Signs $300 Million Deal, Thanks the Fans Who Cannot Afford to Watch Him Play

By JerkCircle Staff

League Adds a Fifth Jersey So You Can Feel Loyal Four More Times This Season

By JerkCircle Staff

Owner Cries Poverty at Contract Talks, Buys a Third Yacht to Feel Better

By JerkCircle Staff

Stadium Replaces Water Fountains With a Kiosk Selling You Water at Airport Prices

By JerkCircle Staff

Team Wins Title, Immediately Trades Everyone Involved to Save on the Parade

By JerkCircle Staff

Sports Betting App Encourages You to Have Fun, Follows Up to Ask Where Your Rent Went

By JerkCircle Staff

Coach Preaches Team First, Reminds Everyone His Contract Is Guaranteed and Theirs Is Not

By JerkCircle Staff

Halftime Sponsored by the Snack You Cannot Afford at the Stand That Is Also the Snack

By JerkCircle Staff

League Protects the Integrity of the Game It Sold to a Betting Company Last Tuesday

By JerkCircle Staff

Fantasy Football Trade Ends 15-Year Friendship Over Points That Do Not Exist

By JerkCircle Staff

Season Ticket Renewal Up 22 Percent, Team Down Considerably More Than That

By JerkCircle Staff

New Stadium Removes the Cheap Seats to Make Room for the Seats You Will Never See

By JerkCircle Staff

Marathon Runner's Proud Finish Undercut by Guy Who Photoshopped Himself Into the Race for Clout

By JerkCircle Staff

Team Raises Prices to Improve the Experience, Improvement Is a Bigger Screen Showing You the Prices

By JerkCircle Staff